Archives for category: sex

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Our culture has bought a lie. That lie is that a sexual relationship is the greatest experience of our lives.  If you don’t have a sexual relationship you don’t have a life.  This lie has been around ever since the Renaissance as human society broke away from the inhibiting rules of the Medieval Church and its domination and before the Church’s dominance,  when sexuality was central to the worship of ancient gods and goddesses. This lie has grown more and more powerful and prevalent with the advent of the modern sexual revolution.  This lie is so strong that traditional heterosexual relationships are giving way to a whole rainbow of other kinds sexual relationships.

The truth is that the one relationship we were created for-the greatest experience of our lives is a relationship with God.

What is sad is that in pursuit of sexual relationships many people are committing sexual acts that inhibit a relationship with God.

This lie is not only among people that don’t really pursue a relationship with God, but sadly it is prevalent among those who call themselves Christians.  They believe that their purpose in life is to find that perfect Christian mate and then they can live their life.

As this lie has grown and it has gone further and further from the true purpose of sex for procreation and family stability, to gratification of pleasure and coupling at any cost, the shades of perversion have grown.

With the popularity of “Fifty Shades of Grey” the sexual deviation of Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, and Masochism is being mainstreamed as a “normal” sexual behavior.  Those who wish to be in a sexual relationship are now buying  that these behaviors need to be a part of the repertoire of any sexual relationship.

If we continue to believe this lie we will never find peace, and joy in our lives and we will never have the assurance of eternal life with God when this life is through.  It is not too late to seek the truth and build a life on the one foundation that will not fail.

John 14:6

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

John 8:32

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

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And-you-will-know-the-truth-and-the-truth-will-make-you-free

Who Is The Real Enemy In The Battle Of The Sexes?

There is a lot of talk about the War on Women   and the War on Men.    The aggression of women because of feminism is creating a   Sexodus   among men that is causing them to retreat from committed relationships with women.  This can be attributed to the sexual revolution and the move away from Judeo Christian values that have traditionally been the basis for the family unit.

Apparently free love is not so free.  Our society is broken and loneliness is increasing with the speed of technological advancements.  The real war is the war on humanity and the enemy is sin.

Those who don’t espouse to traditional Christian values often use the stringent and, what they view as archaic, lifestyle requirements that are purveyed by the Bible as reason to flee religious involvement.  Those who do embrace these values in the Christian community believe that God knows best and that the life of faith is not about reason and logic but about obedience. Christians believe that the list of do’s and don’ts is a recipe for living a life based on God’s best for their lives.

Their faith is based on a loving relationship with a Benevolent Savior who wants to protect His followers from the penalty of sin in their lives.

The horrifying consequences in our disintegrating society are proof that sin costs.  The price of sin is now an inability to enjoy the beautiful gift of sexuality and the companionship that God created to be enjoyed between a man and woman. More and more people are living isolated lives.  Communion and companionship are declining.

I have addressed the rise in  single person households, but with the latest research that has been released, it is apparent that the damage to our society and individuals is more devastating than I had even imagined.  It grieves me and I am certain that it grieves our Heavenly Father that there are so many caught in the trap of a “free” society and the consequences of the freedom.

For those of you unaware of what Biblical sexuality is about, let me enlighten you.

  1.  Sex was created between a man and a woman: Matthew 10: 6 But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. 7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, 8 and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
  2. Sex creates a   powerful bond   – a bond that is designed to sustain a lifetime relationship and secure the family unit for healthy procreation. This bond happens with anyone you have sex with.  There is no such thing as casual sex.
  3.  I Corinthians 6: 15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.
  4. Sex outside of God’s design is damaging to your body.  If you question this look at the dangerous diseases that promiscuity causes. I Corinthians 6:18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.
  5. Christ was a great liberator for women and men. Galatians 3:28  There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Our “free” society has enslaved us.  It tells us that there is no happiness apart from sex. This “freedom” has left us more lonely, more unhappy and less “free” as we search for sexual gratification in any form.

It’s not just video games and casual sex that young men are retreating into. They are also immersing themselves in fetishes that to their grandparents’ generation would resemble grounds for incarceration, and which drive them further away from the formerly fairer sex. Consider, for example, the example of furry culture and anthropomorphic animal sex fetishism, both of which are experiencing explosive growth, fuelled by the internet.

Jack Rivlin’s student newspaper The Tab, which we encountered in part one, has noticed the trend spreading on UK campuses. (It’s already rife throughout the US.) Other alternative sexual behaviours, including homosexuality and transgenderism, are more prevalent on campus now too.

“It’s eminently plausible that there are a greater number of people who identify as homosexual, bisexual or other sexualities who are happy to be labelled as such these days,” agrees Cambridge Union president Tim Squirrell, from whom we heard in part one, speaking about the students he sees passing through his Union. “I think we’re becoming more open and accepting of people who live different kinds of lifestyles and have different kinds of identities.” The Sexodus Part 2

The one true relationship that we were all created for-men and women-is a relationship with God.  This is the relationship that will bring us the most joy.  It is the one relationship that will strengthen all our human relationships.

John 15:9 “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. 10 When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 11 I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! 12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. 16 You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

There is only one way to true freedom:

34 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. 35 A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.

Flags American Danish copy

I just read a blog entitled What it’s Like To Grow Up In A Country That Doesn’t Hate Sex.

 It is about how families in Denmark are more accepting of teen promiscuity than American families.

The point of the article is that the Danish have a healthier view of sex and therefore lead happier lives because of this.

I would argue that when you really love something you don’t throw it around like a cheap shoe.  When you love something you protect it, guard it, you cherish it, and value it.

The so called “puritanical “values of the majority of Americans consider adolescent sex to be taboo.  Unlike their European counterparts they do not look favorably on their teenage daughter bringing home her boyfriend to spend the night. The blogger of this article sees this as a bad thing.  But is it?

Is there anything hateful about wanting our children to participate in an adult activity when they are an adult and both emotionally and financially capable of bearing the consequences of that behavior.  I am reminded of the parents who tell their children,”If you want to drink or smoke pot I will allow you to in my home.”  Encouraging risky behavior is not good parenting.

I realize that we no longer live in a society where chastity is a highly guarded virtue. Statistically 70 percent of young adults have had sex by age 20.  The U.S. has a higher rate of teen pregnancies but the way teen pregnancies are treated and the way they are recorded in Europe makes that suspect . The same article details how abstinence education helped reduce teen pregnancies in the U. S. The MTV show 16 and Pregnant has also had an impact in the reduction of teen pregnancies.

 Statistically, teens in the U.S. and Europe are equally sexually active. Apparently parental approval is not a determining factor in teen sexual behavior.

The assertion that a country that is more accepting of sexual promiscuity among teens is a happier place to live may not be accurate. From Wikipedia:

SUICIDE RATE:

Denmark is often known as the country with the happiest people, but according to the WHO, both the female and male suicide rates are significantly higher than that of the US. Out of 80 countries polled and investigated in, the female suicide rate for Denmark is 11.3 suicides per 100,000 women (ranked 13th). The male suicide rate is twice as high at 24.1 suicides per 100,000 men (ranked 23rd).

The US, however, are ranked much lower on the list of 80. The female rate of suicide in the US is 4.4 suicides per 100,000 women (ranked 40th). And the male rate of suicide is 19.8 suicides per 100,000 men (ranked 30th).

Maybe hating sex makes for a happier society after all.

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A new bill was passed in California  meant to put a stop to sexual assaults on college campuses. It narrows the definition of consent in sexual relations and increases the opportunity for prosecution of assault.

Is the real problem a sexual revolution gone awry?  We live in a culture where men are the winners and women the losers when it comes to sexual freedom and promiscuity.  When did I as a woman consent to that?

Relationships for the majority of America’s young adults are reduced to sexual hookups. In an article based on a study done at the University of  Pennsylvania   one participant describes it this way:

“It’s kind of like a spiral,” she said. “The girls adapt a little bit, because they stop expecting that they’re going to get a boyfriend — because if that’s all you’re trying to do, you’re going to be miserable. But at the same time, they want to, like, have contact with guys.” So they hook up and “try not to get attached.”

And the article goes on to reveal the dark side of this “hook-up” culture that leads to assault:

Women said universally that hookups could not exist without alcohol, because they were for the most part too uncomfortable to pair off with men they did not know well without being drunk. One girl, explaining why her encounters freshman and sophomore year often ended with fellatio, said that usually by the time she got back to a guy’s room, she was starting to sober up and didn’t want to be there anymore, and giving the guy oral sex was an easy way to wrap things up and leave.

It is a catch-22.  The women get drunk in order to consent to the “hook-up” culture and being drunk blurs the lines of consent and assault in these sexual encounters. More from the article:

In a 2007 survey funded by the Justice Department of 6,800 undergraduates at two big public universities, nearly 14 percent of women said they had been victims of at least one completed sexual assault at college; more than half of the victims said they were incapacitated from drugs or alcohol at the time.

Some may argue that sexuality is equally pleasurable for men and women so there is no reason to say that women are the losers in this hook-up culture.  Biology says otherwise:

Men aren’t “exploring their sexuality” when they have sex without strings attached. They’re doing what for many of them comes naturally. Conversely, it isn’t natural for women to have sex without strings attached—and there’s an easy answer as to why: oxytocin. The female body is steeped in oxytocin and estrogen, two chemicals that together produce an environment ripe for attachment. Oxytocin causes a woman to bond with the person with whom she’s intimately engaged. It also acts as a gauge to help her determine whether or not she should trust the person she’s with.

 

Men have oxytocin, too, but a smaller amount. They’re more favored with testosterone—which controls lust, not attachment. That’s why women, not men, wait by the phone the next day after a one-night stand. That’s why the movie He’s Just Not That Into You wasn’t titled She’s Just Not That Into You. When a woman has sexual contact of any kind, it’s an emotional experience—whether she intends it to be or not. The moment touch occurs, oxytocin gets released and the attachment process begins. It just doesn’t happen the same way for men. Call it unfair, but there it is.

I believe it is time for women to take back their sexual power and no longer consent to a culture that leaves them unfulfilled and on the losing end of a proposition.  Let’s start a love revolution and balance the Economy of Sex. Then maybe the ambiguity of assault will be a thing of the past because sexuality will be about love and commitment and not “hook-ups”.