I am a terrible romantic. Maybe that is one of the reasons that I have been single many more years than attached. The fictional love stories just can’t seem to materialize in any of my real life relationships.
One of my favorite romances is Gone With The Wind. Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler’s timeless love story has always captivated me. Their turbulent relationship ends with Rhett’s famous line (in the movie version). When Scarlett asks him (as he finally leaves her after years of alienating his affection), “What shall I do? Where shall I go?” He responds, “Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.”
As he walks out the door and into the foggy night, Scarlett throws herself on the stairs and sobs. As she sobs, she thinks of the only other man that she really loved-her father. She remembers her father’s words,” There is one thing you love more than me Katie Scarlett-Tara.” (Tara- the family plantation.)
“Yes,” Scarlett answers the memory, ”Tara, I’ll go home to Tara”. And with that- Tara is her reason to face another day.
Every woman needs a Tara in her life-something that gives her purpose and meaning, and the rock upon which she builds her life. Men need one too, but usually they do. Men tend to find their identity in their work, where as women find it in their relationships.
Relationships are so tenuous, even those that weather the years have plenty of low spots which could feasibly send your identity into an abyss. That is why women need a Tara.
It is far too big a burden for any relationship to be the source of a person’s identity. This no doubt, is one of the reasons that relationships have a hard time sticking.
I discovered my Tara recently. I was bemoaning my singleness and generally feeling sorry for myself, when I got a kudo on one of my writing pieces. It immediately altered my attitude as quickly as the dog in “Up”s attitude changes over “Squirrel”. All semblance of unhappiness evaporated in the bliss of my Tara.
My Tara has its roots in the one relationship that I will allow to define me-that with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is the One True Rock that is the greatest foundation for my life. All my endeavors (including my writing) are expressions of my service to Him. I am like Don
Quixote with my pen (ie laptop) as my sword-battling evil, injustice and oppression to insure liberty and justice for all.
Find your Tara -your raison d’etre- and when you find it you will be home and anything else is just a plus.