Today was a day of mourning.  In South Carolina there was a funeral for Senator Pinckney who was killed by a deranged 21 year old racist. It was also the demise of celebrating the Pre Civil War South with its heinous culture of slavery as the Confederate Flag is all but obliterated from American culture.

And today traditional marriage between a man and a woman has been laid to rest in favor of a redefinition of marriage by the U. S. Supreme Court.  While no one is celebrating the loss of Mr. Pinckney, the other two deaths are being lauded and hailed as a huge progress in the evolution of American society.

Why am I sad?  Why am I not brought to tears by the Gay Men’s Chorus singing the National Anthem on the steps of the Supreme Court?  Why am I unmoved by the rainbows covering social media-and coloring the site I post my blog on?

While gay marriage is being celebrated-who is celebrating heterosexual marriage?  Even among heterosexuals marriage is losing its appeal in favor of cohabitating without any formal commitment.

My life is not a bastion to marriage.  I am one of the survivors of the record level divorce rates of the 80’s and never found anyone who could convince me to try again.  Not that I have lived a wantonly wild, sexually liberated life since then.  I have mostly been content with a solitary life of celibacy.

But I have never given up on the hope of marriage. The hope of a soul mate who truly celebrates and cherishes my soul- a companion to do life with. It is a dream to aspire to in my journey of relationships.  It is the dream-for me-of traditional marriage between a man and a woman.  Marriage as it was ordained by the Judeo-Christian God of the Bible-a Holy rite.  The transformation of fornication under carnal knowledge to sanctified, holy-dare I say blessed sex.

Today’s American culture calls my dream a fairy tale-a fantasy-a hoax.

But they would say the same about my faith in Christ too.

So today among the rainbows and #lovewins-don’t hate me for mourning.